The Alarming Rise Of False Allegations Of Abuse

Parental alienation occurs when a parent consciously or unconsciously attempts to brainwash, or otherwise influence a child’s memories, perceptions, feelings, and relationship toward the other parent in a negative, unhealthy, selfish, or destructive way.

And this kind of behavior is repulsive enough.

But one of the most extreme, and increasingly popular forms of parental alienation arising in custody cases today involves the false allegations sexual or physical abuse against a child in divorce action.

And there is a reason for this: it’s a fast and easy way to get your parenting rights terminated and create unhealthy separation between you and your children during a divorce, even as court-ordered child-support keeps flowing.

Of Course, this is why within professional circles, false allegations of sexual abuse in a divorce action are commonly referred to as : The Nuclear Option.

Because with one simple, fraudulent allegation, your divorce opponent can not only inflict massive damage to your relationship with your children, but can completely destroy your life as well.

Background – The Rapid and Increasing Proliferation of Nuclear Warfare in Divorce

According to the National Vital Statistics Report published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of divorces in the United States during 2008 was approximately 1,065,750.

And According to medical, legal, and psychological studies (some of which I have provided links to under the “Resources” tab to the right), allegations of sexual abuse against a parent occur in approximately 4% of divorce cases, or 12% of divorce cases classified as high conflict custody battles.

WARNING: If you’re involved in a serious conflict over the custody of your children, statistics show your chances of being accused of molesting a child are greater than ONE in TEN.

 

Assuming we utilize the more conservative 4% allegation rate, there were likely around 43,030 allegations of sexual abuse against children made within divorce courts in 2008.

And lastly, of those 43,000 or so allegations (depending on the study, sampling methods, and definitions), anywhere from 85% to 97% of cases are shown to be false or unfounded, 95% of the allegations are offered by the custodial parent, and 97% of the allegations are made by women.

Meaning that in 2008, there was probably around 36,550 (at 85% validity) unfounded allegations of sexual abuse made against a parent involved in divorce, or 703 per state. 

And this figure does NOT include custody and litigation issues arising after divorce.

The Rising Trend Of Nuclear Warfare In Divorce Actions

Around 2% of high-conflict divorce cases do uncover the presence of abuse and neglect or the sexual abuse of children, and as a result, the Court gives great care to ensure potential victims are protected from further harm.

So, when allegations of physical or sexual abuse against a child are presented in front of the Court, the accuser is afforded the grace to do so without proof of the behavior or fear of repercussions if the allegations are found to be unfounded.

Rightly so, the Court does not want legitimate victims of abuse to fear coming forward, and takes great care to make it as safe as possible for them to seek its protection.

The result is that regardless of the credibility of the evidence, if your estranged spouse accuses you of this crime, and does so directly to the Court, you’ll soon find out that this is one of the few instances in the U.S. justice system where you are presumed guilty.

You’ll be immediately stripped of your parenting rights, be ordered to hire a forensic expert to investigate the allegations, and any visitation between you and your children will be allowed only under the supervision of a disinterested third-party such as a professional psychologist or social worker – And in many instances, you will not even be allowed to touch your children until the Court rules on the allegations.

So, regardless of the motives of the accusing parent or the credibility of the allegations, you will in fact be treated as if you committed the alleged crimes.

But, Ahh……Unfortunately, There’s Even More…..

I remember when my ex-wife accused me of sexually molesting my two-year old daughter in my divorce.

Friends and family alike, ignorant of how these kinds of allegations are actually treated, tried to reassure me that the facts would bear themselves out and my innocence would be vindicated.

But, there is a huge problem with this.

Because if you’re fraudulently accused of physically or sexually abusing a child in a divorce action:

YOU WILL NEVER BE FOUND “INNOCENT” OF THE CHARGES, BECAUSE NO ONE IS EVER ACTUALLY FOUND INNOCENT OF THE CHARGES BY THE FAMILY COURT.

 

What the Court will find is that the allegations are unfounded, meaning there was not enough credible evidence to support the allegations.

And Sadly, Beyond The Damage To The Relationship With Your Children, This Is A Permanent Injury To You.

To this day, my ex-wife knowingly continues to manipulate public ignorance about how these allegations are actually treated and publicize that I was “never found innocent”.

And unbelievably, there is absolutely nothing I can legally do about this.

I’m told be Family Court professionals not to worry too much, because the Court understands what the ruling of “unfounded” means.

However, the Public at large does not. And unfortunately I cannot sue her for defamation or libel, because as mentioned earlier, Law Enforcement does not want legitimate victims to fear coming forward.

The injury is permanent, and you will not be compensated for the personal and professional damage inflicted on you by these allegations.

The Rising Epidemic Of False Allegations Of Abuse In Family Court – The Enabling Dynamic

On the Accuser Profiles page, you’ll find a summary of scientific research findings describing common personality profiles of both the accuser and the accused.

And while these profiles are not always consistent, more times than not, you’ll find the following behavioral patterns between the two parties:

  • There is a predator/prey dynamic in the relationship, where both parties are overly fearful, and tend to be heavily dependent on co-dependent emotional energy.
  • Some event, or series of events threatens perceptions of safety, triggering feelings injury and anger. Typically, this pattern is volleyed back and forth throughout the history of the relationship until one party reaches their breaking point. The accuser’s history of maintaining control is typically marked by aggression, threats, domination, and in some cases, reoccurring patterns of emotional abuse. The history of the accused may most obviously manifest itself in passive displays of controlling, including unhealthy and destructive tactics for avoiding conflict. 
  • A divorce or legal separation action is started. At this point, the relationship has become adversarial. Once attorneys are engaged, trust falls to even lower levels as disruptions to accustomed methods of manipulation by both parties become more frustrating, and the intensities of threat and distrust are ratcheted up to significantly higher levels.
  • During the initial process of litigation, both parties come to realize their personal freedoms are going to be constrained. The accuser, typically the custodial parent, learns that he or she will have to adjust their lifestyle goals and future plans to accommodate the needs of the children’s relationship with the non-custodial parent, and vice versa.
  • It’s also discovered that child support calculations are a function of the time the non-custodial parent has with the kids. The accuser is used to dominating the accused, and these restrictions to freedom along with financial interests of limiting visitation create significant economic incentives to limit or eliminate the non-custodial parent’s time with the children. In other words, negative feelings, or attitudes toward the accused are increased, and strategies for terminating parenting rights with the preservation of child support are explored and contemplated.
  • Often, those with self-interests that enable the desires of the accuser (i.e. friends and family), are consulted, and the accuser takes the position that the parenting rights of the opposing parent deserve to be terminated. And there are essentially two ways to do this: (1) Prove to the Court that the opposing parent is an habitual abuser of illegal substances, or (2) Prove to the Court that the opposing parent presents a significant risk of abuse and neglect on the children.  
  • At this point, attitudes toward the opposing parent are intensely negative, a decision is made to terminate their parenting rights, and the processes of data mining to support the desires of the accuser begins.  Psychologists have long known that people have the ability to focus their attention on information that supports what they want to believe. Which And soon enough, accusers have acquired sufficient information to convince themselves the accused has committed the act.
  • The accusing parent has now committed to making the allegations of sexual abuse. Medical experts who will support their desires are shopped for, and social support is harvested from social networks; including friends, family members, church relationships, co-workers, etc.
  • Thanks to an abundance of well-intended public awareness information designed to encourage real victims to feel safe coming forward, the accuser has access to a wealth of easily obtainable information providing a step-by-step guide on how to make their allegations without any risks or repercussions.
  • Once the allegations are made, the process of alienation from your children begins. You’ll be presumed guilty of the crime until you can show the allegations are unfounded, your parenting rights will be eliminated, and you’ll be restricted to supervised visitation with your kids (which, by the way, sends a message to your kids that something is wrong, that you’re a threat – which of course, your accuser wants anyway….).
  • If your accuser has had sufficient time to plan the allegations, he or she may have gathered enough support to launch a criminal investigation against you. If not, then the allegation can be made in court, and when made in court, all that’s required is an allegation; and there is NO requirement for credible evidence that the alleged abuse occurred. The Court is going to react by protecting the children first, and sorting out the truth later.
  • Once the allegations are formally made, you should accept that the chances of your accuser ever retracting or owning up to the allegations are slim to none. And this is for two reasons: (1) The accuser’s attorney is going to advise them that in doing so, they’ll open themselves up to the risk of making an admission that can lead to liability for an injury claim by you, and (2) Psychologists know that once a person makes such as strong public commitment, any withdrawal from that commitment presents a serious threat to that person’s self concept and public reputation. 
  • During all of this, your accuser will have spent of great deal of time, energy, and money harvesting power and desired public image from others. And once committed to allegations of sexual abuse against you, any public displays that erode the credibility of your accuser are going to be intensely resisted. So you can expect they’ll continue to fight you tooth and nail against visitation and custody, they’ll want to extend supervised visitation for as long as they can, and the likelihood of them formally re-raising the allegations after you’re awarded unsupervised time with your kids is well over 80%.

It Sucks, But You Have To Face The Facts

Don’t kid yourself about your Ex – He or she wants you destroyed.

Allegations of sexual abuse can very easily be motivated by a desire to control and punish you, remove restrictions to their personal freedoms, and they can also be motivated by financial greed.

Usually though, the motivations are some combination of all three because false allegations work so well to accomplish them all with one swift, bloody stroke.

And the first decision you need to make is to accept the purpose for the attack, and accept that you can no longer, in any way, trust your accuser.

 

Dilemmas, Truths, and Travesties

Here’s the problem.

As you can see from the statistics described above, not all cases of sexual abuse are manufactured. Roughly three out of 100 cases involving the allegations of abuse on a child are found to have credible merit.

The divorce court process does in fact discover sexual predators and abusive parents. And for this, we can be thankful and hold out hope that these children can find safety and healing. 

The Court, Law Enforcement, Court Investigators, and Medical Professionals have to weigh the risks to children against your rights and interests as a parent and a citizen – and they simply have to protect children. 

Still there is a BIG problem. There are those who are so greedy, they’ll intentionally manipulate laws and resources intended to protect real child victims so they can wage war and gain an advantage in court. 

And this trend is increasing.  

And as much as child predators are the lowest forms of life, those who manipulate these laws for personal gain in a divorce action are no better – they are disgustingly selfish, vile, and ruthless human beings.  

 

Why Public Ignorance Is Encouraged

Few family law professionals, including judges, social workers, and lawyers argue against evidence an increasing trend in the number of unfounded or false allegations of sexual abuse recorded in the divorce courts each and every year.

Recently, social scientists have taken a greater interest in producing studies that try to understand and isolate the driving influences motivating the disturbing upward trend of false allegations of abuse being levied by custodial parents during divorce actions.

But it’s tough.

Because the difficulty has been in determining what portions of this trend may be attributable to the enactment of well-intended laws and public awareness campaigns introduced in the 1970’s that were designed to encourage potential victims to feel safe and come forward or, if this trend is more influenced by conditions created during the 1980’s, when states began adopting and applying the “Best Interests Rule” (this rule veered away from automatically awarding the mother primary and majority custody of the children, and attempted a more objective, more balanced look at custody issues).

While scientists and practitioners agree that both influences are likely at work, no one has been able to credibly determine if one is more pervasive than the other. 

Permanent Damage: You Will NOT Be Found Innocent of The Charges, Because NO ONE IS – EVER.

Investigators and the Courts will say that the stress of divorce, along with any acts on your part that contributed to feelings of mistrust during your marriage or after your separation can make your accuser sensitive to priming effects by public awareness campaigns, which can cause them to leap to erroneous conclusions about abuse. 

And it’s important to note that acts of mistrust need not be sexual or abusive in nature, they can be anything your enemy claims violated their trust in you.

As a result, false allegations of abuse made against you are likely to  be determined to “unfounded” as opposed to “fraudulent“.  

Either way, investigators and law enforcement will admit it’s difficult to know what the truth really is, and because we’re dealing with serious crimes against children:

 NO ONE is ever found Innocent of the allegations.  NO ONE.

 

What the court will find, is that the allegations are “unfounded” or “lack sufficient credible evidence.”

You will NOT be found innocent by The Family Court.

 

The Reality of Life After The Allegations

I can’t claim to speak for anyone else, but I can claim to speak for myself, and the experience I’ve had appears to be completely consistent with what’s been reported by other victims and experts. 

I’m just going to be straight with you here, and tell you that dealing with a nuclear attack is not easy:

  • I’ve already mentioned the personal injury to reputation and how the allegations can continue to be manipulated by enemies for personal gain. It sucks, but that’s the way it is. 
  • Severe depression is common. Once accused by the accuser, you’re immediately stripped of your parenting rights, treated as if you’re a sex offender, and wake up each day under the threat of being falsely convicted of the crime. Normal functioning while severely depressed is extremely difficult, especially under the kind of stress these allegations cause. Depression under these conditions is normal, and your enemy wants you to suffer. Just do the best you can to function and deny your enemy the emotional pay-off they so desperately want. 
  • You’ll be required to hire a court approved investigator, usually a forensic psychologist, experienced social worker, or former law enforcement official to perform an investigation. Once appointed, these investigators generally have quasi-judicial authority. Furthermore, you’re on the hook for the bill. Fail to pay them, and you may be found in contempt of court. 
  • If you can’t afford to pay for an investigator, the case will usually be referred to law enforcement for a criminal investigation. Thankfully, I was able to pay for an investigator, but I know of people who didn’t have $20,000 to spend on this (and this doesn’t include attorney’s fees), and so they ended up getting investigated by the police. Police investigations can result in criminal charges being filed, arrests, which under these allegations, usually results in loss of employment. So, if you can help it, try to keep your investigator paid. 
  • You’ll be ordered into supervised visitation. This means you’ll have to pay someone to babysit you while you see your kids. If you can’t afford the service, it will effect your visitation rights after the divorce is final. 
  • You’ll be alienated from more people than just your children. Don’t be surprised to find your enemy contacting your friends, your family, your neighbors, your church, your employer, your co-workers, and your clients. This is quite a common behavior. And it still happens to me to this day. People tend to make snap judgments, but don’t worry too much about it, I’ll show you a way to handle this garbage.  
  • Apart from your friends, you can also expect your enemy to contact those who have bone to pick with you. Be cautious. You’ll have some of your friends and enemies alike turn on you. Just be careful who you’re dealing with. 
  • You can expect to spend a fortune. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Extreme financial hardship during cases like this is extremely common. You’ll be forced to make decisions between paying your bills, and paying for your investigator and attorney. You’ll also be on the hook for child support and maintenance, and I’m just going to tell you it absolutely sucks seeing your hard money end up in the retainer account your enemies attorneys, private investigators, court investigators, and others. But there is nothing you can do about it. The Court is far more concerned with ensuring the money is paid than it is about what it’s actually used for. It is what it is. Just hang in there, and do the best you can…   
  • No matter how fraudulent the allegations are found to be, few investigators are willing to hold the accuser fully accountable, and that’s because it’s almost impossible to scientifically determine if the accuser was primed, or if they primed themselves. So there will inevitably be language in the investigator’s report indicating reasons why acts of distrust made on the part of both parties may have contributed to the allegations. Still, the accuser will be given the benefit of the doubt, but you won’t be – the cloud of suspicion will never completely leave you. Still, ultimately it’s the court’s opinion that matters, and like in my case, if the judge believes the allegations were manufactured, they’re going to address it. 
  • It’s very unlikely you’ll be awarded custody. Usually, the custodial parent is the accuser, and once the allegations are made, the Court is reluctant cause the children any more traumatic changes. The accuser will often be afforded the opportunity to make things right before custody is changed. Typically, it takes several rounds of custody battles, with continuing evidence of alienation before the Court will start to seriously consider changing the primary custodian. Additional allegations may expedite this, but unfortunately, you’ll have to go through the same process all over again.  
  • The court does NOT award remedies for personal injury for false or unfounded allegations. It doesn’t want real victims to fear coming forward, so don’t expect any punishments, other than maybe a verbal admonishment by the Court to be levied upon your accuser. 

 

 

 

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48 thoughts on “The Alarming Rise Of False Allegations Of Abuse

  1. For those who feel they are immune from false allegations such as these, remember that every day our judicial system and law enforcement are allowed to continue in this manner they are establishing legal precedent which undermines constitutional protections and redefines the rules of evidence in every facet of criminal law.

  2. Primary caregiver for 8 years, then. false allegation #1, Inflicting corporal injury on spouse. Not guilty. #1 taken to Family court for damages. Ruled in my favor. no damages. False allegation #2, driving drunk with children (CPS) unfounded. False allegation #3 Assault with deadly weapon on minor, Not guilty. False allegation #4, child endangerment. Not Guilty.False allegation #5, Emotional abuse on a minor, (CPS), Founded, Reversed after grievance hearing, unfounded. If you have to spend 1000s of hours learning, family code, rules of court, evidence code, penal code, civil code, etc. Do it. they want you to quit. Never Give Up on the Children. One day the tail will wag the dog, make sure your there when it does.

    • Wow, that story is heartbreaking. My husband was falsely accused of raping his 15 year old daughter in January after a bitter custody battle. LIke Bob, he was primary caregiver for 8 years. After 9 months of investigation and countless lives ruined by the other parent and a therapist who enabled this to go on, he was exonerated last week and the police even apologized to us. And the case was closed. She became unhinged and very angry when the case was closed and the following school day, she appeared bruised and battered in school and accused him again, in a heinous display of faking a rape, to school officials, hospital employees and friends, but, we had been out of town, and the scenario was immediately seen to have been impossible. The police were finally able to catch her in the lie but only after 8 months of hell. Now she is being charged with a crime and my husband is the victim. Once you are the victim, you have rights. Oh to be on this side…..She is now in a mental ward where she belongs. Our parental rights were so restricted during the investigation that we could not even do anything about her deteriorating mental state. This is where the system really failed us, stripping the primary caretaker’s parental rights did the child no good.
      In the end the system worked for us, just barely, and we know we were lucky. We had great lawyers and no one believed the child. And yes, they want you to give up but we never did, and we fought early and aggressively. We still will never give up hope that our daughter may someday come out of this.

  3. In our case, it is extreme alienation. Trial is scheduled, now she is seeking a last minute adjournment based on five new statements. Drunk driving with children, says there is a second secret job- I work 40-50 hours a week but says I have another job, says she believes there will be emotional/physical violence taking place soon, says I shouldn’t have the kids because I live 25 minutes away from her-too far away. All lies and stupidity, and then in the next breath she would like to reconcile. No doubt financially, this is draining to prove she is an alienator. Courts should impose jail time for these false accusations.

    • I agree, I am not fighting my ex, its my mother that took the kids and accused my husband of sexually abusing them, Over a year now and I still don’t have my kids back, actually they TPR me, because I didn’t believe my daughter. But she has accused every man that has been in my life, including her older brother and older step brother. But in Minnesota I guess you cant bring up past behaviors of the victim, the police didn’t investigate my husbands side, didn’t talk to her teachers or counselors or anything. She does have severe PTSD but that wasn’t allowed in the court room either, but all the false accusations turned up in my CHIPS case, so I was found unfit. All for control and money. I moved away from my mother (if you want to call her that) and it upset her, then my Grandmother died (who was living and helping mother financially) and they (mother and step father) have a huge gambling habit. They get a ton of money for having my kids. Its all stupid, and the accuser recanted her story to her older brother but its not going to be addressed. Any one have any resources I can contact?

  4. The courts do not accept or recognize Parental Alienation. The courts do not accept false allegations. They consider false fabrications but can only fine the person up to $2000 and only if you can prove malicious intent which is virtually impossible. Good Luck, I personally made past eight.

  5. Regarding qualified potential financial donors to your organization and causes.

    If David J. Glass ESQ, PHD is not already a current donor towards your organization, it may because he has been spending much of his time throwing catered parties and attending Laker games. Maybe a solicitation on your part may help him start a monthly financial contribution towards your organization . I am attaching a copy portion of the latest August, 2013 FMBK monthly newsletter which boastfully claims how well he and those around him are eating and living exceptionally well, while children across the globe are starving to death, are homeless, neglected and abused every day. It would appear that such a successful family law firm such as FMBK and an attorney with a PhD in Psychology would already be generous donors to your cause. The income levels of those fortunate enough to reside in the city of Beverly Hills, CA. are sufficiently able to afford generous ongoing contributions to your organization.
    DAVID GLASS HOSTS FMBK MIXER
    David and Carol Glass hosted an FMBK mixer at their beautiful home in Beverly Hills to help welcome our 2013 summer law clerks Anna Giroux and David Jones. Carol’s family’s restaurant, Joan’s on 3rd, catered the event, alongside a portable pizza oven that fired out hand crafted, delicious pizza pies! Dessert included brownie bites, lemon squares, and other delicious sweets. All of the attorneys attended, and the mild Southern California weather made it a lovely outdoor event. Thank you David and Carol for hosting!

    To remind all those with morals and to all those who love all children, that this David J. Glass Esq. PhD would giggle & laugh at me while waiting to see the judge. Shortly after this attached letter dated 2-12-2012 was received by the community of Malibu, CA this David J. Glass Esq. PhD conspired to injure a 3rd party (myself) , suborned perjury and falsified evidence just before he closed down his practice and went to FMBK Law.The CA State Bar has just received a 2nd complaint regarding this matter.

    2-12-12 Mr. Graham J Miller

    REGARDING CHILD ABUSE

    To The Principals of Malibu Elementary Schools and To Whom it may concern within the LAUSD and SMMUSD administrations, Directors or other persons.
    Dear Sir Madam or MS,

    I am writing to you firstly as a parent. I have a child in a Malibu public school. I am also writing as a Citizen, and therefore concerned in a more global manner with issues that I personally find disturbing and relevant. I believe a possible failure to perform to ethical codes of several professions, let alone what any normal person may find to be reasonable is about to, and could in the future lead to embarrassment, public consternation and at best a complete lack of faith ,trust and confidence in the above agencies.

    I have recently been informed by my daughter Lily-Jane Faith Miller that her mother has taken her out of Callahan elementary (Northridge); and she is now at some school in Malibu district. (Grade 2)

    My reasons for my concern follow.

    Within the Malibu school district there is a teacher, (C Cullen) who has accused her ex-husband of two counts of sexual abuse of their son, and 5 other counts of abuse of their son (11). This alleged abuse according to Ms. Cullen and her Attorney took place over the past 5 years.

    I would like a notation in my daughter’s file that she is never to be placed in class with the above person as her “(my daughters)” teacher. I apologize in in that I amenable to provide more details on my daughter’s whereabouts (school) but her Mom has not provided that info. I’m sure Dr Jacob the principal at Callahan would be able to assist.

    In MS Cullen’s divorce and custody case she utilized the services of a Mr. D Glass Esq.(Attorney) Mr Glass is also a PhD in Psychology .Mr. Glass was also utilized by the mother of my daughter, Lily -Jane in my own divorce and custody matter. Mr. Glass a Psychologist/ Attorney and mandated reporter saw fit to bring allegations of sexual abuse of a child and 4 allegations of other forms of abuse of MS Cullen’s son Sammy before family court. These all were investigated by the Police DCFS, and the District Attorney. They were found to be without either Medical or Credentialed 3rd party verification and closed therefore as unsubstantiated. These allegations were brought by MS Cullen via the services of Mr. Glass and occurred regularly before the summer school break on a yearly basis. MS Cullen had also recently remarried a Mr Brian Winsick another Teacher and coach in the Conejo Valley. Their marriage took place just prior to the allegations beginning.

    I will now outline my concerns and reasons for the request of the notation in my daughters file.

    It is my belief that the relationship between this teacher Ms. Cullen and her attorney and my own ex-wife and the same attorney is cause for reasonable concern. That to avoid any unfortunate incident where god forbid I was to be accused by my daughter’s mother of something similar as MS Cullen accused her ex-husband of it is imperative no establish able link is in place as could lead to suspicion of collusion. The worst case scenario that Ms. Cullen at some time becomes my daughters teacher and subsequently claims are made that perhaps my daughter had inferred to MS Cullen that I had abused her ( Lily-Jane) and MS Cullen then could relate this to my daughters mother through their mutual attorney, or contact at school is beyond horrific. I feel the separation of my daughter and this teacher protects LAUSD/SMMUSD and my daughter and me.

    In a more global sense I am concerned that a teacher married to another teacher and coach and an attorney who is also licensed as a psychologist made no attempt to make aware the LAUSD or the SMUSD of their concerns. (Two allegations of Sexual abuse and five other allegations of abuse.) Surely some ethical codes of their respective professions would demand other relevant or parties who could be impacted be advised.

    When a teacher finds the resources to pay $500 an hour to a Beverly Hills Attorney for 5 years surely there is a need for verification that such allegations will bring in terms of the expenses the County and State will bear during the protracted conflict. Especially if the accused has been made indigent by the continued claims and has suffered stress or work issues stemming from such accusations and is no longer paying taxes.

    As a parent I certainly would be outraged if I knew my child’s teacher was aware of a legitimate abuse situation and if, as in this case it included Sexual Abuse allegations and that teacher did nothing to bring attention to it as could protect other children I would expect answers. Specifically why and how a person(s) (2 Teachers, (Coach), An Attorney/Psychologist) would go ahead and consciously disregard accusations of such a serious nature, and then they having brought these allegations before family court and the district attorney go ahead and let other parents arrange activities with the person they were accusing of abuse in a manner as would expose other children to the accused.

    What is more disturbing and I expect the press will find disturbing is that repeated allegations of this nature are often utilized in family conflicts and that this is acceptable is in fact a failure of morality within our society. I believe this failure may have had a profound societal impact.

    That the failure of an application of evidentiary standards as are normally applied in criminal matters may have allowed credentialed persons possibly with questionable motive to use family court in a manipulative and deceitful way to achieve their own ends appears to me to be worthy of consideration.

    This epidemic of claims of abuse of children caught in such situations, (family breakups) versus children, who suffer actual abuse , desensitizes the general public and governmental agencies and allows real and dangerous criminals to hide and operate with virtual impunity in our society. It is beyond Peter and the Wolf it is an ongoing crime against humanity. To falsely perpetrate something that I believe leads to what we are now facing in the LAUSD and SMMUSD and may have exacerbated, perpetuated and indeed by lack of action condoned events and actions that possibly has led to emotional; mental and even physical harm to any child is heinous.

    I believe because of the actions as I have described many prior red flags have been ignored in many abuse situations and much suffering and harm and expense could have been avoided if a less commonplace attitude of children was the norm.

    Indeed in the immediate situation with (C Cullen, B Winsick )either the allegations were scurrilous and a product of vitriol, and an attorney(PhD Psych) with who knows what motivation (7 Claims) and that these claims were worthy of public expense .Or these persons were aware the claims they were bringing were false and therefore not worthy of reporting to LAUISD/SMUSD or other parents.? The alternative is an admission of negligent lack of reasonable due diligence and surely a great lack of concern for the school both pupils and other teachers and parents has been flagrantly displayed in total disregard for the safety and welfare of minors. Whether this is or should be a concern for the bond holders of these persons I do not know. Mr. Glass, Glass family Law and former associate of (Kolodny & Anteau) One of the most respected family law firms in the United States (Mel Gibson Getty, etc.) has been investigated by the CA Bar already in this matter and while the complaint was not upheld a letter suggesting the possibility of civil redress was issued by them.

    The APA also found he did no wrong apparently within their own ethics code.

    The fact remains an Attorney/Psychologist and a Teacher and a Teacher/Coach surely have some duty to the community. The positions of trust and respect they are afforded should allow the general public a reasonableness within their expectation of propriety and protection of the innocent by such credentialed persons.

    Perhaps the LAUSD/SMUSD could incorporate or suggest to the CA Bar a cooperative relationship of a professional nature that would allow this protection to be afforded our children as well as draft a code for the LAUSD/SMUSD’s own employees in such situations.

    Certainly recent events could lead one to surmise that a better clarified way of maintaining the safety and welfare of our children, from both bonifide and false claims of abuse would be helpful. The harm that both real and imagined events can bring to families, as well as collateral persons and an institution such as children’s learning environment should be minimalized at all times.

    Sincerely Yours,

    Graham J Miller.

    885 Avenue of the Americas

    Penthouse 1A

    New York. NY. 10001

    • As a person who had several careers with huge public contact, I happened across many people on the accusing side and on the accused side. In all cases but one, which is to say over 90% of them, it all came out that it was wives coaching children to get better terms from their husbands, women accusing men in order to get their way on any matter whatsoever that they were displeased with, and/or psychologists addicted to repressed memory theory, and lastly, former workers or other people wanting to ruin the reputation of a public figure. In many cases I knew the accusers, and they all retracted, every one I knew, and I knew several. In all cases, no woman ever apologized, ever showed remorse, and none of my female colleagues, upon hearing the news of such things, ever worried, even for one second, about the men’s lives that were destroyed. In this way, although I’m a devout liberal, I must confess, much of the women’s movement has become sociopathic. (Sociopathic here means that in the given area of political or ideological conflict, persons are unable to feel ordinary human emotions regarding the misfortunes of others, since they are only able to focus on what they want, to be right 100% of the time with no exceptions and no discussions. In the Bay Area, this syndrome is pandemic. To take it to absurd proportions, I knew a fellow who was standing in a public area guarding a construction zone which he was obliged to keep people out of for their own safety. In front of dozens of people, this man denied her access. Displeased with this, she took him on a three-year court odyssey, in which he barely escaped with his life. Not only did the false accuser face no consequences, but the prosecutor subjected him to double jeopardy by threatening to have the trial thrown out after it was over and then starting a new one anyway. And women confessed overtly to me that they coached their children in order to get money out of men, multiple times. It literally was their racket.)

      • Well, it happened to me. I am a conservative custodial mother that was a single parent for more than 15 years. I tried to raise the alarm about my sociopathic personality disordered chronic drug using ex and his danger to our children. Nothing was done. My adult children are successful and disciplined because I raised them; however, there are some serious red flags (they are 30 and 28). So be careful of your gross generalization clouding truth.

  6. 3-13-13
    Dear Ken ,

    It’s been more than a year since the letter of 2/12/12 and the apparent subsequent closing shortly thereafter of Glass Family Law. I understand he is now not promoting himself as uniquely blended in Psychology and Law but is at another firm doing probate work. Interestingly enough his resume at FMBK Law has claims of credentials I understand you believe are false based upon you direct written response from organizations Mr. Glass claims to be a member or associated with. Who does that reflect upon him or the diligence and propriety of the firm which now employs him?
    It occurred to me that the complete contrast in our cases is almost deafening in the way it shouts hypocrisy, maleficent practices, and flat out perjuries within statements written under penalty of perjury and oral statements within hearings and written statements within submitted briefs screams of the manipulation of parents. This IMHO by attorney’s, the bench and minor’s councils within the family court system in CA at least. Given I was asked to waive my Fifth Amendment Rights in family court? And did so .The issuance of restraining orders on both of us within 3 weeks of my letter of the 12 of February under quote Justice Convey in your instance (“by the slimmest of margins”)one has to wonder at the coincidence…Right? Of course I was judged as having stalked by proxy because I hired a PI to prove my daughter was being housed with a felon (cultivating under a Federal Indictment),,, and the mother knew it.
    Indeed in your instance you were falsely accused of molestation by the mother of your son seven ( 7) times and then of stalking (8th)when the child was too old to falsely accuse the father of abuse .I note your minors council never interviewed your child even though Sammy was ten (10) . In your case no abuse took place yet you were put on monitored visitation and visitation reduced to police station pick-ups permanently. It would seem logical Ken that at some time you become a safe parent. When is that after your four (4th) parenting class? Or after the third 3rd interview with the District Attorney’s Office. How about after the 8th sheriff or 13th DCFS investigations. What grade gives you a pass? Or is it like our friend who ponied up a Million dollars.
    In my case I alleged that the mother was negligent or deliberately sub parenting in a manner as was provocative .Lj was taken to UCLA med center at three & half (3 ½) .and on morphine and intravenous feeding for 6 weeks after the neighbors call the police because they could hear her screaming. I had previously stated the mother did not have the skills or empathy and may have been suffering some mental distress.
    Then two (2) years later numerous blood noses (daddy don’t put sunscreen on …its very sore) and Minors counsel accused me of overreacting etc. Yet my daughter now is showing a scar across her nose as her face has grown. Also when the symptoms that caused the first hospitalization reoccurred I took Lj to the Doctor without custodial privileges and was again accused of being alarmist yet the child’s diet was immediately changed by the mother and things improved.
    Not forgetting being accused of 10K in support arrears that the judge threw out as falsified spreadsheet CSSD said I never owed anything. As well as the LCSW saying the Mothers accusation I yelled at our daughter and threw a phone at her was a work of fiction. Perhaps that is why we have a letter from the Bar suggesting we pursue “civil action”.
    Given all this I am the one who is separated and monitored.
    My point is you are not a molester as the DA stated yet you are punished and to the opposite I can prove the mother has been ,may still be or is a least using sub care of my child in a provocative manner where my child may be suffering yet I am punished,. Quote (LCFS,,‘ The Mother is not currently negligent”)
    Really?
    Finally we have our friend who only after paying a million dollars was taken of monitoring, all accusations and interference stopped and can see his children when he wants.
    Here is the situation Given the violence in society killings in families, how much damage has been done to children and women, mothers Fathers parents and extended family by the propagation of this kind of duplicitous behavior within what seems to be a culture of deceit built around self-aggrandizing and financial self-serving that in fact amounts to fiscal abuse of children. What training skills and so on are lost in funneling the parent’s income to third party leeches using false or manipulated circumstances to serve their own interests?
    In my case I spent more than $ 47,072 seeing my daughter for twelve ( 12) hours each month for the last year.
    I kept my second residence in California, (rent) paid child support, Airfare from NY once a month air fare for a weekend from oversees and monitor costs including the monitors meals , go-cart rides, Taxis/transportation , lunches, entertainment, getting around, clothes, toys, books & games and adventures that I as her father are able to spend upon the daughter that I have raised!
    What type of enhanced opportunities could a different approach have made?
    If fathers are the enemy what will mothers become once a more robotic agenda is achieved .They will be phased out as well. Women should consider the short amount of time science is giving them to make the correct adjustments to this situation and police their own ranks from peers lawyers and malevolent individuals who care little for children, and will eventually throw mothers to the wayside in preference of the state. I mean do little girls really need to be born with a womb anymore?
    The societal cost of the emotional and mental anguish to children and subsequent family killings from person caught up in this situations is surely not worth the salaries of a the firms and government agencies who benefit from this culture…>All mothers, children and Fathers are at risk and more so daily as those uneducated to the manner they will be manipulated and have their conflict orchestrated to the fiscal advantage of others.

    My being asked to waive my 5th in family court because a stated somebody was a dead man walking, professionally speaking .It would seem I know what I’m doing as David J. Glass Ph.D. is now hobbled from abusing any more families and a judge who asks me if I wished merry Christmas to a Jewish Lawyer as a hateful gesture seems to be setting me up for something, especially since you had received notices mailed to your residence disclosing that David Glass would be on vacation during the “Christmas holidays”.
    Yet you Ken are a longtime Jewish friend and my father spent weeks in a cattle car on his way to Stalag IVIII in Poland.
    Was it not the Nazis who first separated children from parents?
    And then when I request the transcript from that hearing, I pay for it I and then get not the original but a copy and my money order is handed back to me and no one will say who was given the original?
    Lj says to me at age of 6 when I tell her mom loves her and will always be in her life
    She state’s to me …“She’s going to live a lot; she’s never going to die?”
    What is this child going to hold her mother responsible for and by what means will she do so?
    The enabling of conflict by those who seek to gain financially is simply evil and no different from an arms dealer who supplies both sides .The killing of life be it on an emotional ,intellectual, financial, mental, spiritual and /a or physical level is a death and no different from actually using a mechanical device. Too knowingly do so to children whose spirit is pure is inherently foul.
    To surmise IMHO the individuals and associated firms in our cases are only the tip of the iceberg.
    M Kretzmer. David J.Glass Ph.d, Laurie Darkajian, Elise Greeberg , Psychologist Angus Strachan Ph.d of Lund & Strachan ,FMBK Law , Kolodny & Anteau represent a blight upon what was once a noble profession .
    Please get back to me with your thoughts, I am thinking about copying this letter and the letter of 2-12-2012 to the California Attorney General.
    Thanks
    Graham.
    Ps I’ll be in LA for visitation. It snowed in NY this week.

  7. I want to thank the writer for this article. It has helped and alarmed me at the same time. I’m a father going through a bitter divorce and have recently had false allegations levied against me by the mother of my children. The allegations were initially filed in divorce court who appointed a forensic psychologist to investigate. Somehow the police were involved, I was arrested and now I’m facing criminal charges as well. It is true: the court needs no proof, only allegations to strip the accused of his parental rights. The criminal court has barred me from any contact with my children. I am living a nightmare, praying that the truth will come out that I did not abuse my children in any way.

    • I am a step mother dealing with exactly the same situation. My SD’s mother has always bashed me and always had my SD distance herself from me. I found out I was expecting with my husband and within a few weeks my step-daughter told her mother and everyone at her mother’s church I had smacked her. (they did not make the situation better by taking a picture of my SD after her crying and saying her eyes were swollen from me) They filed a restraining order against my husband and his court date was last week (which he won) but now I have one and I have a feeling it will not be settled in “General Sessions.” We will have to move up to Grand Jury. The police officer even stated he seen nothing on my SD but they still decided to charge me with Domestic Violence and Aggravated Child Abuse over a statement from a 7 year old. I am just at a loss of words. I know how you feel!

  8. Getting divorced/seperated?
    Odds R you will face false allegations
    (sexual)
    Google : FMBK ANTEAU (Hundreds of results)
    Present the 2-12-12 letter & other documents to Law Enforcement, DCFS Agents,
    Child Abuse Detectives, School Officials, District Attorneys Office, Judges & the Public

    PROTECT YOURSELF , LOVED ONES & OTHERS from CHILD ABUSE by DESIGN

  9. Aaron Drucker, a DBT therapist, began showing up at private family events without ever requesting permission nor was it therapeutic in nature. Aaron Drucker prevented me from integrating any therapy with my child. Aaron Drucker never referred us to family therapy as he should have. Aaron Drucker wrote a letter against me and never told me about it until I saw it a year later attached to my ex- wife’s petition for full custody.

    After I demanded my child’s medical records and we began family therapy sessions, Aaron Drucker called child services on me. It was unfounded. Aaron Drucker tampered with medical records, omitting certain facts and tailoring others and writing against the father.

    Parents—please learn from me. Aaron Drucker is dangerous and the Marsha Linehan material can be used as a cult. All DBT therapists are not like this but the skills and the power they wield over your minor can forever be dangerous to your relationship with your child. Parents beware…I am available for further inquiry

  10. Pingback: The Alarming Rise Of False Allegations Of Abuse | Keep Your Head Without Losing Your Mind

  11. My husband’s and my battle too, started 2007 when he separated from his wife at the time and shortly after she called CPS to make false allegations of sexual abuse against their daughter and she was 3 at the time. The court made him take supervised visitation while being investigated and then everytime he saw his kids his ex would run straight to the ER with their daughter and have an exam done on her! mind you she was THREE YEARS OLD!! The allegations were always “unfounded” and everyone finally caught on that she was coaching their daughter into the allegations and then when that happened she withheld visitation for almost 10 months. We filed enforcement but as soon as we were able to see the kids again she began running their daughter back to the ER for more exams. My husband then opted NOT to see his daughter then because of her taking her back to the ER everytime he had contact with her to protect her. And because the final custody hearing was only 2 weeks away. Turned out that CPS took HER to court to STOP the exams in front of the same judge that was to hear the custody case. 2 weeks later we had the final custody hearing and my husband was awarded sole custody of both his children and she received supervised visitation from that day on till now. She has never changed and still alleges to this day that those accusations are true. i recommend anyone in the throws of that now to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!!!! and i would advise to take ANY visitation i had with some kind of supervision so it can be witnessed that there is no abuse and when the other parent attempts to coach then the claim can be countered with another eyewitness. we would always have the kids stay with his parents and we would visit only around them. its so sad when parents go to those lengths. i am sorry for anyone facing it!! keep cool, never argue via text, email, phone, fb. i advise on SHUTTING YOUR FACEBOOK AND TWITTER ACCOUNTS DOWN!!! any social media that can tie u to ur ex or mutual friends. if they post anything about u i promise it will get back to u. and NEVER GO TO THEIR HOUSE OR MEET THEM ALONE!!! take a friend, family and possibly a sherriff’s deputy. u may have been married to them for years but like it states above, its nuclear warfare and anything is game and usually u r dealing with someone with a personality disorder and they know NO BOUNDS!! NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS TO THEM, including hurting their own children.

    • Oh I here you on the hurt there own children, and I can’t see why the courts can’t see where the real abuse is . Where as you are talking about spousal deportation I am an uncle of three children ages 3to 8 the oldest being my niece, and that is where the problem begins lol. Where it is partly spousal, in that the in-law needs and demands control, my niece got my attention being the older of the children and I spent most of my time with her when visiting, as the fellow that I thought should no me better then most wold be bussy looking after the three and the house work, i enjoyed spending time in the weekends, gave me a chance to just be a kid, and to be a part of his and my niece and nephew life as thay were close , when both were there the tension was palpable, and my niece on one of the visits we were playing paper dolls at the table when she was six just really mater of faculty stated that this goes on all the time I just egnore it the squabble in the back ground was at full boil. Grabbig me and galling me off to rough house in the living room, the in law if I was in the room and the fellow was there was quite sweet but as soon as the fellow left the room wold needle me about my age and being signal and the time I spent with my niece. Who wold often ask for assurance that she wold be ok if her mom and dad divorced she did know about this as she has a nother family member who told her what her life was like after divorcee. She was also varry curios about differences between her and her Friends and wold some times by adult standers be a little inappropriate when gathering attention I wold just let it pass and explain the best I cold that the action was not horribly wrong but Socially inaproporeat and let it go . Eny how I did never miss treat my position as uncle and eny conversation was open and really just questions of a child, oh well. The inalw wold find eny put down. For me and state it with my niece there to here once the other fellow was not in ear shot. Finding my self charged with sexual assault recently . And wow the amount of abuse I have committed is staggering not only have I never thought such sic stuff now I’m angry again as the uncle I can’t see a whay out nothing to hide and vary surprised. I still can’t be leave what this parent has done to her child, this child now has an education that no 8 yo needs, and the fact of the matter is that she took the lead of this parent in an interrogation about the time she spent with me and as the fellow that I no longer can call a brother is just trying to save his marriage by going along with what ever his wife tells him this I know as I herd him saying vary freighting things to the kids and I think this is a hole lot of the conversation of divorce. Like I Sid can’t say to much as this has not seen court yet. Long and short the rhetoric out there that a child wold not lie about being sexually abused I can tell you strate up is not true yes thay will to Gardner attention and to pleas a parent that wants to here and will demand to here what she wants to. So an uncle can be used to gain more control in a rough marriage . Probibly eny family member of the target spouse. A little reading on line and eny good deed by the accused can be twisted. She probably babe him an ultimatum and he has no balls to stand and say that there is no way ok this is not to gathered but hopefully it’s like paint by numbers I’m still dealing with the emotions of the allegation the loss of family. A few People that were Friends , but then if thay think that I purrotrated such an allegation thay weren’t really friends what a way to find out what people really think about and I’m better off knowing who holds deceit and glad to be dun with them, as those who have stuck seem to understand how this works will be there for me even if I find my self convicted of this hanousnes as all the reading I’ve dun this article seems to say it all. This parrent how ever did not think this out to well as when my neice begins to under stand what it is that the parent has dun is going to feel abused as she knows that what she has sed without understanding did not happen ok enough babbling I’ll try make more coherent later but I’m so angry and frightens that the words are spilling out not flowing hope the crown really takes a look at what it is thay are prosecuting as there is absolutely no evidence of eny mistreatment and there is good reason for that there was no abuse. Just the abuse that will come later in the form of more emotional abuse by the parent/ s

  12. Shasta county, California is the worst. Have or sendor send no kids there. Foster care with the courts relatives is a big business there. It is corrupt. They will destroy you and steal all you own there.

  13. I am the custodial parent and i am going though this because of a vindictive ex. Apparently I am a drunk driver, my daughter is stupid and everyone is concerned about her. The truth is that she is “gifted” according to her teacher and her therapists says she’s well-adjusted. The noncustodial parent wants to destroy me for not wanting to be with him. Just in March 2013 he was still sending me lovey dovey text mesaages. He lied to me and I told him he ruined whatever chance he had with me. In May 2013 he started dating, in , November 2013 got engaged and in April 2014 he got married. I honestly don’t care but you can see how he just moved on so quickly not a good thing. So now 2 heads are better than one and him and his wife now are viciously attacking me in court this will be my 5th time in court this year alone. Prayers welcomed.

  14. thoughts from mississipp i mom of 3. their dad is putting me thru this now. although im very close to all 3 of my babies my 13 yr old daughter has always too been my bf my sidekick. not healthy maybe but we were never apart. sept 25,2014 my world ended. she left me. moved with dad and his mommy! havent spoken to her but once i went to her princible at school for safe place to talk with no lies. 10 yr son my world as well is so confused, even though he filled assult charges on me (daughter) apparently im okay and stable nuff to keep him and not abuse him. i can not describe pain all over my body since that life changing day. and its simply to gain custody to keep from paying a whopping $180 month two children child support. worth destroying inocent childrens minds hearts and trust forever. only one place for someone like that, and God makes that choice. please pray for my babies.
    lost,lonley in MS

  15. I have never read an article that sums up my life, as well as the lives of those I love as yours. It is as though you read my court file spanning years..and actually saw the truth and published it. I understand that your words will never reverse the damage done to my son, as well as myself, but please know that someone read them and wanted to cry and laugh all at the same time! This is real…the courts are not educated enough. I swear I just read our story exactly as it actually unfolded. Thank you for bringing public attention to this! After the court ruled against me and child support set, my ex husband phoned and met me to deliver my son back to me.. He is an officer and had to make me look bad. I immediately took my son and have continued paying him child support in order to keep him. Wish the courts could know, how much more proof of my love that has always existed despite the multiple slanderous accusations does anyone need? I won’t tell courts though, I won’t risk losing my son again…I continue to pay him without fail, but have amazing honor of seeing my son daily! (He no longer wants my son to come to his new home..) Awareness……….

  16. I am glad I found this site. I had no idea the world I entered when I made the decision to file for divorce. It s a dark and forbidding road to walk. I look forward to coming out the other side at some point in the future. Thank you for each of your writings.

  17. My husband currently is sitting 10 years in prison after his daughter whom was always under her Mom’s dictation and control falsely accused him of molesting her over several years. The timeframes were impossible given her Mother’s strict visitation control. Every time I came up with DOCUMENTED proof against the possibility of the claims, they were allowed to USE my documented dates to reform the allegations. Even after being terrified into a plea deal, they continued to tell more lies of which I have DOCUMENTED proof are impossible the day of sentencing. My daughters now 11 and 13, never once before traumatized emotionally or otherwise, are now showing signs of poor adjustment to the sudden loss of the father they love so very much. We have been married 19 years and worked like a great team in raising our girls. We are VERY close and we are the neighborhood hang out and continued to be during the year before sentencing from charged. No one believed it who saw us all as a family. In fact, behaviors we always blamed on her Mom’s influence were all of a sudden pointed out by our close family and friends as “shady” and “manipulative” by the very girl we loved and thought of as family. We tried hard despite the laws of our state and lack of money being the only reason my husband who never married her husband had no say in anything. Two separate social service reports glorified us as great parents and no concerns found in any way years before this all came about. The day before she had these, “DREAMS/Memories” we finally scolded her for the first time ever over how she treats her sisters. She reportedly had a nightmare and when her Mom rushed to her side she so called flooded with her story and details. They claim her Mom took her next day to report in sentencing, however, there was a full 5 days before the report from the day the “detective” originally told me she had her dream. Since then she APPARENTLY has lost ALL memory of her childhood while losing sleep EVERY night to haven nightmare after nightmare about the abuse. All while maintaining her GPA to achieve the Dean’s list every semester in college. Now MY girls are MADE to be victims, losing their father, so her and her Mom can play victim/rescuer as they have in the past with other trumped up medical diagnoses. The only mistake my husband made was not knowing how to handle talking to her about these out of no where accusations after working two days no sleep and just waking up from a nap. They TORE apart EVERYTHING he said and eventually EVERYTHING I said to twist it into an admission.

  18. This is a strident dynamic. I find myself closely related, though not even a parent. The mother is twice divorced and has threatened me with custodial interference as a team mate of the teen.
    This has helped me understand why I can’t get due process on what amounts to speculative claims of thought crime through intent.

    • Yahoo’s finance page has run 3 separate top stories today alleging SEC is going to make Money Market funds less liquid and the coinsquenteal investor outrage. Sounds like more herding of the lemmings out of cash, only I have a feeling this one will work…for a while. If this pisses you off and you are holding 401K assets in MM’s at .0001%, where can you put it? Answer: EVERYwhere else. Looks like a sweet February for stocks and bonds to me. Artificial sweetener, for sure, but most people can’t tell the difference.

  19. What a fucking joke the system is. So what if my 4 year old child watched her mother(the accuser) sit there and bit her father repeatedly in the face. Can she be a witness. Because thats what happened to me. But she accused me of all this. And how can they be OK and sleep at night knowing there all lies. Something different has to happen to the system. Cause all she has to do is say that and nothing can happen to her. No penalty under perjury or anything. So this makes the affidavit completley worthless right. And under the penalty of perjury worthless as well.
    If I was the judge I would tell the accuser that if they cant prove this that her parental rights will be stripped.

  20. This is actually an epidemic in our society! A vengeful ex will file one after another false allegation til they find something that will stick! Why our courts/lawyers/Gals/judges do not recognize false allegations as child abuse and or a crime is beyond me! Let’s pray for justice!

  21. Hers the other halfRight there with ya buddy my ex got some therapist to say my daughter said I told her to touch my junk this is two days before custody hearing where I would have been primary parent basic full custody cause ex and atty didn’t file a response to my motion then cops take kids with no Warrant and on a hear say statement from a therapist that ex was involved with over a year state guide lines say a child at age 4 has to be video and audio recorded statement had neither the therapist can not in any way have any personal ties or aquatiances absolutely no ties or its considered bias ok so they take kids then between county workers and police 9 people can’t confirm all against and sent to mcrc to be examined and they also determine nothing happened long story short county wants me to take deal asked by my lawyer and I’m told constitution is thing of past said no so then trial few weeks out week before trial lawyer just up and quits which he can’t by state law judge approves it and denies me a public pretender trial is on in a week so I prepare show up and they then tell me I have to completely a ua before they will start my trial why have had kids for a year at b that time argue it for a bit then say fine take ua now trial is gunna start but then social services say we gave him wrong ua judge says take another I said no I am here and prepared for my trial my trial and said I’m being denied my right to fair trial she gets up and says I’ll hold you in contempt court is in recess and I said see ya and left court house then I loose by default and I file 500 page appeal so then judge reviews it and grants it well on court papers the findings of trial attached to them is appeal process rules and what not k so file a peal I. 30 days of court she a proves it and it is set for new date then county prosecuter. Objects and files it by mail stating that I didn’t a peal within 10 days cause that’s the rules on this particular family court case yeah then judge say on write me a response on the timely Ness and email to court clerk this was a Friday she wanted it by Tuesday so emailed it Sunday evening and was expecting to hear from judge Tuesday comes conference call all of us county prosecuter judge and me she says didn’t get response and upholds the objection by prosecuter later find out county out clerk didn’t bring to judge then there was going to be an ofp hearing that they only got be a use in court when original cps was started both parties agreed to file and serve all parties by email on the record k so like a week and a half later ex and atty file ofp and serve me by publication in a paper under bill of sales in a town I don’t live in so therefore I never went to court and it was granted k so a peak that judge keeps ofp on kids due to accusations whatever then on to the ofp extension after trial and denial of appeal on trial show up to contest with all my proof of the bs ofp and then I am told that they are combining new trial and ofp extension together well I don’t have all my shit with for a trial just documents for the ofp Case so I have to do this no attorney no paper work and got to cross examine social worker therapist and guardian ad litem. Get them all to lie on stand but don’t have the documents with to call them out on it so court concludes and judge say will have decision in 48 hrs then two weeks later get decision by calling everyday then court administration tells me it’s been dropped but ofp extended for 6 months but by state Stat to get ofp have to inflict or threaten bodily harm that never was done or even accused then to extend an ofp the per has to violate the original or the conditions of the ofp neither was done but ofp was extended and everything was dismissed terminated juristiction on it now a month away from the end of extension at beginning of these accusations first judge stated if it turns out to be unfounded custody goes back to what it was which I was in custody of kids but.here I am and haven’t seen or talked to kids for over two years now and this whole time judge in first court date o this also denied her child support till cps case was complete but half way to ending county started child support so over half my check gone weekly and suddenly after judge dropped case I got an eviction notice for not paying rent well we did pay rent online through wells Fargo online banking with proof so file an appeal on eviction. Well. The judge that signed cps order to take my kids I the beginning also signed eviction and also denied appeal on eviction with evidence provided to the courts shoeing it was paid then ordered to get out locked outa apartment for almost a month all my shit locked in apartment clothes everything then got shit and put in storage unit now living in a camper at a campground wtf huh ? Sorry but been meaning to write it all out and you just gave me the prime oppertunity. To do it so tanks man bitches are ruthless 8 yrs to her don’t mean shit and to do that to your kids I’d fucked up and honestly this is only half of what happened I had ofp on her and it covered kids and me but county fucked up paper work and then all this happened after her keeping kids against court order for three weeks just crazy

  22. Wow just went off writing g out almost everything that has happened with my kids but not including how when I was outta town and she lost kids and kids were found outside I snowstorm undressed for conditions for min of 20 mins two blks from home 3 and 4 yrs old and when she was contacted she was unaware they were even gone and just two days prior I called cps cause I was outa town and had concerns k then got kids and ex to move back to Minnesota after being denied to come back home for five months stuck in hotel 60p miles away from home and only with a suitcase of clothes so finally got em back then ex threatening to take off with kids again so got ofp against her and was granted but county screwed up paper work and served her day of court after court already was over so should been extended for new date but wasn’t so I got call at work from police telling me she was at hotel tring to take things from my room so then I was told ofp was dropped cause noone was there at court I explained she was served ni g t be fore and didn’t ha e a date yet so they told me to goto courthouse and file for another one well when I was able to leave work I went to court house and who did I see a liking out my ex and she had filed one on me again cause like three weeks prior after she had kids taken away from her second had filed one when I was at hotel and I appear ed by phone and she was caug by t Ling to judge and it was dismissed but now back here she filed almost word for word same one again so I filed one too again and both were denied and went to court folowin g week where u was granted primary aregiver full custody then she called cops making claims and cops came and verified kids were fine and taken care of and it happened so many times that cops told her if she Called again that she would be arrested so then on one of her days having the kids she kept them against court order I filed contempt and it continued for almost the meet weeks she and her atty filed for emergency custody and it was denied then I was Givin the kids back but my son had burns and a bite mark so I brou gb ht them into urgent care and it was determined tat their older brother burnt him with a stick outa bonfire at mom’s house by mom’s other son from previous relationship 14 yrs old so report filed with county two days later kids went to mom’s for her day with them that’s when mom brought them to therapist that her son had been seeing for year prior and that’s when alkagations by therapist were made just few days prior to custody hearing which her and her atty hadn’t filed a response to my motion for custody and was past deadline to do so wow so hard to keep my cool reliving it I’m just shaking right now and probably all kinds of spelling errors so sorry if was hard to read thanks for reading if you did any comments please feel free to leave them

  23. Legal vultures pick the financial flesh off broken families. If courts consider themselves justified in removing a parent without any incriminating evidence, then it is theirs, not the parent’s, perogative to find out the truth. Family Law is a billion $ industry because it triggers desperation, anger and fear, which is meat and drink to capitalist exploitation.

  24. So happy to know that there is others, sharing the same hardship. We live in South Africa and (thank God they’re grown up now) in years after Zuma’s taken over, things just realy spiralled out of control. My ex husband and I, had one of those divorces that just wouldn’t go away. Although he was found giulty in orevious charges of assult, even paid to have me raped and discharged a weapon on a police officer that tried to protect me (all different incidences), the claims he laid of sexual abuse against my new husband of 3 years, was taken seriously. We lost evrything we had, to fight these charges. I got estranged from my children and we even ended up on the streets. I would’ve lived on the streets with my husband forever, if that’s what it took. This damaged him so much. He is the fairest, kindest person that would’ve laid down his life for my kids. He still gives up so much for them. He pays my airfair to visit them and is willing to evacuate his own home when/if they want ti visit. For obvious reasons, he doesn’t want to be near my kids.
    The saddest part, is that my children weren’t babies anymore. They were young teenagers and should’ve realised the consequenses of their actions.
    Truth is, they wanted to go and live with their father for a while. Though we weren’t specatacularly rich, we weren’t poor, but I was strict about what was fit for a child. (I’m not a consumer). Their father is stinkin’ rich, and usualy just gave them money and sent them places to keep them occupied. The reason I did not want to allow my children to go and live by their dad, is that it was common knowledge that he used recreational drugs. A teenager (child of a friend) also died in his house because of an overdose of drugs.
    We lived in the country and that kind of life was far from ours. So then, steps in the new boyfriend of my daughter. Notorious family and he came from oversees, as his mother couldn’t control him anymore. Needles to say that a friend of hers made me aware that she is at a party where drugs are consumed and sex-games were played (she was supposed to be on a field trip with her sports team). My husband went to fetch her, needed to get firm with the smart-ass boyfriend, and years of hell started. Though charges were dropped, relations with my children has never been the same again. I am afraid of them. It hurts so much, as my daughter is turning 21 in 2 days. Was it worth having children?

    All charges were just dropped out of the blue and he’s not happy with that. He wanted to proof himself innocent. I knew he was, as this idiot I wax previously married to, made such alkegations against any person he thought I might have a relationship with.

  25. Reading these stories is exactly why I don’t want to meet my girlfriend’s kids. Her ex has accused her of many untrue behaviors and i’m afraid that he would jump at the opportunity to falsely accuse me of something terrible.

  26. Me and my sons mother split up and during that time there was alugations made towards the mother they took the children theres 4 . one is my byological.but i am the only father all of them no. Her 3 was placed with family my son was placed in dcf. I have no family . i went to court to get my son and judge denied becuse dcf made up false charges and said i was violent and had a drug problem .. I have never had a drug charge or a drug problem. And the charges the said i had i never had those charges in my life .. I told the court these were false and she still agreed with dcf .. Now it has been three months and i have tried to talk to my lawyer and anyone that would listen . and nobody has helped me or gave me a answer. Nor has dcf braught forth proof . i dont know what to do now my lawyer wont help and judge wont listen and dcf doesnt care. How can they just take my son and make up fake charges and nobody do anything about .

  27. PLEASE HELP THIS DAD GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING RIGHT NOW!!! I can’t believe there are so many people going through this. LIARS SHOULDN’t WIN!! Please read, and if you can’t donate, please share!!!! I am not a troll, I’m not fake, I’m a real person watching my best friend go through this very real situation. I’m trying to help him because his false-accuser cut him off from their joint marital account (he was a stay at home dad), and maxed his credit cards out “in revenge” (her words). He hasn’t seen his kids in almost a month, and before this, hasn’t spent a day apart from them before in his life. Today, officers came to my house looking for him – she had reported that he violated the order of protection by driving by his house. Cell phone records, his boss’s statements, his client’s tattoo, and pictures taken PROVE HE WAS AT WORK OVER 20MI AWAY! This woman will stop at nothing to hurt this man!! And all the while, four beautiful kids are being hurt and don’t have their dad, whom they love very much… Their birthdays are next week too… For more of the story, please read here: https://www.gofundme.com/helpthisdadreunite

  28. Hi, I am 55 as of July 19, I have not seen my daughter now 4 for seventeen months each day a nightmare,August 22 we have a permancy hearing.The fabrication and lies are wearing me out,DCF wanted to close the case but judge N.would not have it,and wants all parties involved to be at this upcoming hearing,where he will make his decision after all has been revealed.

  29. Going through the same ordeal. Been accused of choking my daughter and had the poilce show up at the door and letting me know that they have to speak to me. Luckily I have text messages saved via my verizon to show that that day of the incident the mother couldnt take care of the children and dropped them off at my home. All texts documented. The kids mother is furious I have a girlfriend. Next thing I know after 7 years of marriage and a year of being seperated, I have my children taken away for two weeks because they need to do forensic investigation because I am now being accused of sexual abuse.

    I have been accused of marital rape, physically abusing my children, and now sexually abusing them. I am constantly having to feel like defending myself after opening up to anyone who is in my life that i am close with. Nobody who’s ever met me could even dream up these accusations but all her Facebook friends who has never met me give her sympathy messages and talk smack about me when they have no idea(mutual friends on FB have informed me and I have told them to stop letting me know as it gives me anxiety ).

    \\I feel as there is no high road in these matters, I await for one more week until these investigations are done. I am not worried as I have never hurt my children nor have I ever molest them in any ways. I feel regret from posting pictures of me and my new love on social media but if not now it would have been later, if not my current girlfriend, someone else down the line. I am not going to live my life hiding or having to worry if someone is always stalking me and seeing what I do.

    I find hope in these letters and words on this page. I am not one but many here that are accused by angry wife/husband.

    I pray for all the accused, no person is perfect but having courage and hope during these dark times when hurt, hate, and hopelessness sets in I am glad we are not alone.

    I thank god for my new love, she has stayed with me for the whole two weeks and have helped me cope with my loss of time with my two beautiful children.

    I cant believe the person you gave the most to, loved the most can in fact file for divorce, leave you, take all your money because they are jobless, and then in spite try to hurt you by taking the children away. I hope with gods help I can forgive her one day for her wrong doings. Because right now if I had to see her, I would feel compelled to curse at her and even spit at her face.

  30. Is anyone, including your project, working on fixing this travesty. My nephew is in the middle of this situation… Is there anything that would help him. Someone must be working on the remedy. This is life-shattering, to say the least, however there must be something that can be done to stop and correct the false accusations. I would appreciate any help your project or those you have interviewed could give to me. Thank you…

  31. To whom it may concern :

    My name is Sam . I am a 31 year old father to 2 daughters, Molli and Savannah Swain. My daughter, Molli, is now 12 years old. Her birthday is March 17th. Not a week has gone by without seeing or talking to my Molli during her entire life up until December 27th 2015. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since last year. Since she was 11. Her mother, Elizabeth, has been required by law to allow me my parental rights due to our allocation of parental responsibility she filed when Molli was only one year old. Despite her claims that our relationship ended due to violence is as far from the truth as these current accusations are. The reason we separated was due to her infidelity. During our initial allocation for parental rights, Elizabeth went as far as pressing child abuse charges on my aunt Diane Bruner  (my only support at the time) along with other  hateful lies and accusations. One time, even her own mother slapped herself in the face and threatened to tell the cops I did it.
    Despite the onslaught of threats and vindictive use of the legal system, and the fact I was only 19 years old, working 2 jobs at Albertsons and westinn hotel just to make ends meet as a young father,  I hired the best attorney and remained persistent in continuing to be an influential part of my daughters upbringing. The conclusion of that court case in 2005 was that we would share parenting time with Molli, as well as having half of the decision making authority with my child. I was also set up with the family support registry and ordered to pay Elizabeth a fairly large amount of money every month to help her out on the days in which she had Molli. That court case ended up in my favor, allowing me to be my daughters father despite all of lizs desperate attempts to destroy.
    Fast forward ten years. I am married. My wife, Laura, and I have our first daughter together august 6th of 2014. Molli is doing great. She has good friends in and out of school, she plays the drums, plays softball, & lives a very normal life of an 11 year old. Due to my persistence, my daughter and i have a very good father daughter bond. Then our first family incident occurred.

     It was Molli’s birthday, March 17th 2015. She turned 11. Molli had 4 or 5 of her close friends over for a sleepover. Some of the mothers of the girls who were staying the night decided to have some drinks with my wife laura seeing as it was st. Patricks day, and also maybe only the second time laura had been able to drink seeing as our daughter was 6 months old and nursing. Laura didn’t take well to the alcohol and had an uncommon emotional episode which scared the girls sleeping over and they called 911.
    When the police arrived, they could see that laura was intoxicated. The other mothers where at that time all gone, so they asked me to get laura to bed and let the girls get back to their sleepover. Laura blurted out something, so the police decided to take her to detox and leave the children in my care because I had not been drinking.

    In April 2015,  Caseworker Ana Jackson from Jefferson County CPS called to set up a family visit to follow up with the incident that occurred on molli’s birthday. We agreed and set up a time. When Ana Jackson came over, she had a supervisor with her. They asked if we wanted molli to leave to talk about anything. We asked molli what she wanted to do, & she said she wanted to stay. I felt it was appropriate for her to stay seeing as the topic was about what happened during her birthday party. 2 caseworker sat there and  talked with us for more than 2 hours. After meeting with our family, the file was closed out, seeing as it was an isolated incident.

    From April to December, Jefferson County recieved over a dozen anonymous reports called in concerning maltreatment to either one of our children. It started out fairly innocent in comparison to where we are now.  Out of those 12 or 13 reports, only 3 of them were actually assigned to a case worker, and all 3 times the caseworker involved was Ana Jackson.

    Even Ana Jackson started seeing the signs of molli being coached shown evident in report summaries that she wrote. Everything from physical violence to drug use was reported. Molli told Ana that she was certain her dad was doing drugs and that she found a meth pipe on top of our refrigerator. When ms. Jackson asked molli how she knew what a meth pipe was, Molli would explain that “her mother told her.” Molli would say things like, “I know laura hits my dad and beats him up”. But when asked why she knew that, again molli stated that her mom told her about an incident that happened between me and Laura when we were in Las Vegas.

    This became almost a family ritual with us. Get a phone call from CPS
    Explain to them we have already been in contact with ms. Jackson
    Offer to take another drug test to prove we weren’t using any illegal substances
    Plan on social services showing up and having the same “talk” with them
    Sleep, rest, repeat.

    Then, one morning, while I’m driving my company truck downtown, Elizabeth called me (which I later found out was the cops were conducting a pretext phone call, but at that time I didn’t know) she had an even more psychotic tone in her voice than usual. She something along the lines of. “Molli said something has been going on at your house”
    I was in a rush, and figured, what now?

    “Touching sam… has there been touching going on at your house”
    I immediately called her a name and hung up on her.
    Ok great. Now she is gonna start trying to accuse me of this again. Like back in 2011.

    Oh, I forgot to mention, the time 5 years ago when Elizabeth tried pulling this same stunt.
    In 2011, Elizabeth brought molli to the same Ralston house and molli was interviewed. At that time, Molli wasn’t as easy to persuade and when asked about anything inappropriate she truthfully denied allegations. Because nothing of this sort has ever happened to her. At least at my house.

    So back to the story, I screamed at her, hung up on her, and finished my day at work.

    I got off work early and immediately went to adams county courthouse. I filed a motion to hold Elizabeth in contempt of court for restricting me parenting time with my daughter. Maybe a week later, a young lady named McKenna Hynes called me and informed me of the D&N case that was being filed in adams county. She texted me the time and date I was required to show up back to adams county court and answer to accusations of physical and sexual abuse against my own biological daughter.

    I have never been more shocked in my entire life.

  32. Pingback: The Rise Of False Allegations Of Abuse – Family Law Reform

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